my life as a artist
small change
Thursday 18th September 2008 1:40 AM
The enormous black hole created during last week's trial run of the Large Ron-once-had-one Collider doesn't seem to have done too much damage, as far as I can tell. Myself, my Mum, fabulous Betty,Greg-with-the-power-bob, who-used-to-work-at-the-post-office, and others too imaginary to mention, have always believed that when matter is swallowed up by a black hole, rather than being annihilated, it goes into another dimension, and it does it so quickly and smoothly, that except for a slight tingle around the pineal gland and a few wobbly ornaments, most people don't even notice.
Since the transition, last Wednesday, I've been surveying the universe, and all her mirroraculous ways, and despite constant scrutiny and a perpetual, punishing regime of meditation and self-analysis, the only obvious difference I can see between this dimension and the last one, is that England are much better at playing football.
In all other respects, things carry on as normal, only more so. Huddersfield Town continue to lose, and the sagging, knitted swimwear of capitalism unravels even more, now revealing shocking nipples of truth. Despite the near-nakedness of our page three stunna emperor, Man City pay Robinho 160 grand for a deflected goal and two misplaced passes, while Demon Hurts successfully sells his latest collection, 'Bag o' Shite', at Sotheby's, for over £100,000,000. That's a lot of nothings, and someone's been messing with the decimal point.
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