my life as a artist
room for swinging cats
Sunday 27th April 2008 12:27 AM
On Wednesday I moved into my new caravan of dreams, where the climate is milder, with sunny toilet and occasional shower. It's taller, wider and longer, and instead of feeling like I'm living in a cleft in the Ganges Valley, the extra two-foot in width seems to make the front room stretch out like the plains of Rajasthan. Sometimes I have to get nomads with camels to go and close the curtains.
Jimmy the donkey, Molly the pony, the chickens, and rather touchingly, some of the rabbits, have clubbed together and bought me some hard-wearing, dark-blue, kitchen carpet tiles from B&Q. They're essentially made of oil, but as they're a gift from the natural world and imbued with loving intent, to me they feel like washable, warm turf.
Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen is a keen chicken-fancier, and last week came round to cast his experienced eye over, and possibly handle, Mark's silkies. While they were in the yard, I tempted him in with some of my mum's ginger and lemon biscuits, to see if I could get any free interior design tips.
He said that with the bluebirds-in-a-magnolia-forest curtains that Marks mum was throwing out, and my mum's bamboo coffee table, I should go for an oriental theme, but with more woodchip. He was really friendly, and because he was covered in chicken shit and feathers, didn't seem as posh or puffy as he does on the telly.
Lawrence agreed with me that it's vulgar to have a television in the front room, so I've put it in the bedroom, in a corner, in a yashmak. Soon, its shining face will be unveiled, and in the achingly tender voice of John Motson, it will speak to me of Chelsea versus Man United, and other ties. I heard on the news that Man United lost, even though Mark Lawrenson, (son of Mark and Lawrence?) says they've got unbelievable belief.
Comments
Why would Rory need to buy a print of a clown crying? He's so talented, he could just paint his own!
Elvis in a gold lamé suit though... tricky.
Posted by Steve , on Sunday 27th April 2008, 7:28 PM
Room to swing a cat? I didn't know you were into S&M. I hope you aren't considering a print of a clown crying or Elvis in a gold lame suit as suitable decoration of your walls.
Posted by John (aka Jonault aka Jono) , on Sunday 27th April 2008, 6:26 PM
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