my life as a artist
in to lunch
Monday 23rd July 2007 1:01 AM
Even though yesterday was dark and cold, and the forty-fourth consecutive day of heavy rain, the effects of the gale force winds abating to force six gave me a bit of a spring in my step. I decided to invite a few people round for lunch. After a quick phone round, I managed to get Keith Richards, Amy Winehouse, Howard Marks and George Melly.
I made a leek and pasta bake, with steamed mange-tout from the garden, and Keith brought round a beetroot and avocado salad. Over a deliciously refreshing glass of Aqua Libra, courtesy of Amy, we discussed the disastrous effects of the weather on our general moods. The unreasonable, unseasonable, unceasing rain had dampened all our spirits, although Howard, who's Welsh, said he'd found a certain amount of comfort in it.
George, who'd come dressed as a Masai warrior, but with bigger earrings, suggested that we smoke cannabis. Although his usual charming and witty self, he didn't actually look that well, so when he said that it was a healing herb, and good for us, we weren't completely convinced.
'I tried it a couple of times at university' lied Howard 'but the stuff that's available on the streets now is said to be twenty times stronger than it was then'
'What if it leads on to heroin?' said Keith, his fork expertly finding and piercing the veined flesh of a steaming mange-tout from the garden. 'I'd never thought of that' said George, now suddenly unsure.
Amy, who was washing up and being surprisingly compliant, said in a husky voice, 'Why don't we listen to Question Time on Radio 4? With half the cabinet admitting to accidently smoking it twice at university, it's bound to be a topic!'
As the trusty Roberts crackled into life, we heard the firm, educated tones of Jonathon Bumblebee, introducing the panel to the Peterborough audience. We sat enthralled, and let the thrilling spume of live radio break in waves of love on the donkeyless beaches of our minds.
As Amy had predicted, the topic of marijuana arose. We listened agog as Peter Hitler, columnist for the Daily Mail, discussed skunk weed with Baroness Rabbi Julie Annoy-Burger, spokesperson for the liberal democrats. As a right-wing ex-Trotskyite, Peter Hitler believes, deeply and sincerely, in very strong opinions. He said that skunk weed was fantastic and should be compulsory for all schoolchildren, and that possession of ordinary cannabis should carry a death sentence.
Julie said that she thought skunk weed was unnatural. She said that the wisdom-imbued plant devas, normally associated with marijuana, were not present in skunk weed, due to the industrial methods of its propagation, and it was therefore dangerous. She said that although she didn't smoke now, when she was at university, she'd smoked a couple of really big bongs of Nepalese hash, and really enjoyed listening to Tubular Bells.
The discussion was full, frank and open, with the masterfully masterful Jonathon Bumblebee sensibly directing the fast flow of point and counter-thrust, and when it was over, we lay panting and spent.
Although it may sound uncharitable, we'd found it hard to warm to Peter Hitler, and because of that we were more swayed by Julie's arguments.
'What sort of cannabis have you got, George?' said Amy.
'It's not skunk weed' said George. 'Its just a bit of Moroccan hash'
'I think I'd like to try some,' said Keith bravely. 'Me too!' chimed in Amy. Me and Howard exchanged glances. 'I'll do it if you'll do it' he said to me in his soft welsh burr.
It would have been rude to refuse, so I told George that we'd be interested in trying it. As it turned out, we all found the marijuana quite agreeable, and as we sat and listened, entranced, to the dribbly strains of Tubular Bells, we quite forgot about the inclement weather and our summer disappointment.
Comments
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Posted by uninterruptible power supply , on Saturday 8th December 2007, 7:16 PM
Just read about some Iraqi football fans being blown to bits after a football match.Insanity all around.Pass me that spliff.
Posted by Les Miserable , on Wednesday 25th July 2007, 6:53 PM
I thought George Melly died, too. Does this mean ALL your blogs are made up, then? I'd be very disappointed if they were.
Today's magic validation word is: 'solve'
The validation box is a sort of I Ching, I think.
Posted by Disappointed of Yatesbury. , on Monday 23rd July 2007, 9:49 PM
Your reply box is going weird, has water got into it?
Posted by Les Miserable , on Monday 23rd July 2007, 5:51 PM
At least your not floating down the Ouse in the caravan (yet). Should've kept the boat I reckon.
Posted by Les Miserable , on Monday 23rd July 2007, 5:43 PM
I see its still 50% off at the moment. Do you have an alternate blog on a parallel internet where all those bits of comment over 250 characters end up. As I usually save the best till last you don't know what you might have missed.
Posted by Bill Gates , on Monday 23rd July 2007, 1:54 PM
Not that I doubt for a minute the veracity of your account, but did you overlook the fact that George Melly is dead (whereas Keith just looks it) in order to make the numbers up, i.e. you had run out of real friends ? Still I expect you had a good jam ses
Posted by Bill Clinton , on Monday 23rd July 2007, 1:46 PM
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