my life as a artist
praying to or praying for?
Wednesday 7th April 2010 8:38 PM
Subsequent to Wayne Rooney's ankle injury, incurred against Bayern Munich last week, I was relieved to hear Alex Ferguson declare on the Friday that the nation could stop praying because the injury wasn't too serious. I'm quite intimidated by Ferguson and wouldn't dream of disobeying him, so from Friday onwards I've stopped offering up this prayer that I wrote in those dark, uncertain days between injury and scan.
Our Wayne,
Who art in agony,
Healed be thy ankle,
Thy England come, thy will be done,
In Africa, as it is in Manchester.
Give us this July our World Cup,
And try and save your best passes
For those who best pass against us,
And lead us not into elimination,
But deliver us from the group stages,
For it's ages since this kingdom
Has had any sort of glory,
Because Johnny Foreigner is always beating,
Forever and ever,
Our men.
Regarding the noisy rooster problem, Lesley writes from Hampshire;
'Can we borrow the cockerel? I think that our 6 ex-battery hen hens are available for sex and every other bit of fun that life has to offer out of a cage!'
Thanks for that generous offer of pimping your hens, Lesley, I'll check out the price of a saver-return between York and Portsmouth for a cockerel, and get back to you. You'll have to meet it off the train, obviously, but I promise you'll have no problem recognizing it. It'll be wearing a red marigold washing-up glove on its head and be cock-a-doodle-doing with a marked Yorkshire accent.
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