my life as a artist
psst! you want buy feelthy pictures?
Thursday 13th November 2008 6:24 PM
Hello everybloggy! On Monday night I ordered a special tomato and cheese and ordinary tomato pizza from Modigliani's, which was delivered on a moped, twenty minutes later, by the owner's daughter, Brenda. Noticing some of my artworks in the conservatory, she asked me if, as a commission, I'd consider painting her in the nude. At first I refused, on the grounds that I'd get too cold and would have nowhere to put my brushes, but then she explained that she wanted a picture of herself naked, to give as a present to her boyfriend, for which she was willing to give me twenty-five special tomato and cheese and ordinary tomato pizzas, spaced out at regular and suitable intervals. Having established that the intervals were of time rather than physical distance, I agreed.
She came round for a sitting yesterday lunchtime, and I painted while we both listened, entranced, to 'You and yours' on Radio 4. Although an attractive young woman, the fact that Brenda was a radical atheist, carnivore and Leeds United supporter meant that I could work untroubled by erotic desire, and the painting was finished, if not before the end of 'The World at One', certainly before the end of the world. Brenda and her boyfriend are really pleased with it, although I'm not convinced. I reckon I've got some way to go before I could produce anything as good as Venus Celli's Botti.
Comments
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Posted by jessica aitken , on Sunday 23rd November 2008, 2:15 PM
Impressive, but a TRUE artist would have sawn the subject down the middle and placed it in a tank of formaldehyde.
Posted by Les miserable , on Tuesday 18th November 2008, 12:16 PM
hehehehehe
Posted by tjj , on Friday 14th November 2008, 7:55 PM
Corrrr! You lucky bugger.
I love mopeds.
Posted by Steve , on Friday 14th November 2008, 7:43 PM
Well, Rory, all I can say is I'm glad your Mum didn't drop on the off chance for a cuppa. No doubt, she'd have told Brenda to put a vest on before she caught a cold. And I agree.
Posted by tjj , on Friday 14th November 2008, 7:29 PM
I bet there'll be a run on home delivery from the pizza place now so that punters can say I've seen you nekid when Brenda turns up with the goods.
Posted by John (aka Jonault aka Jono) , on Friday 14th November 2008, 4:56 PM
What's the number for the Pizza place? I can draw too...
p.s The Validation word is "point"
Posted by Tom Smith , on Friday 14th November 2008, 12:02 PM
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